Northern Star

I was seated next to Vishnu, dressed identically of course, in a spotless white shirt and blue shorts. I thanked God (and the school-administration) for not making a tie part of the uniform as it was sweltering outside; the air-conditioner in the classroom fooled us. I believe it was English class as I vaguely recall the Anglo-Indian lady teacher who stood before us that day - D'Mello, I believe her name was.

I usually have an abysmal memory but something about that day will never let me forget... I think it was what she said to Vishnu during the course of her lecture about great leaders:

'Who is your role-model?' she asked him. I looked at him quickly as he prepared his response and then back at the teacher. The question wasn't, I recall perfectly, 'Do you have a role model?' No! She had decided that part for him... Instead, she asked the poor lad who the person was.

I must give full credit to the lad seated next to me of course, as he answered promptly with a socially acceptable response. I don't remember who exactly the person was; it was probably M.K. Gandhi, Abe Lincoln or his dad. I will never know whether he truly meant what he said or whether he said it just to ensure peace and sanity in the class. All the same, I began wondering who I wanted to emulate in life and it wasn't long before I arrived at the horrifying truth. There was no one.

Over the years, I've tried hard to find that person who I found perfect in most ways, but then I've failed miserably in the endeavour. People often say that it is out of conceit and vanity that I harbour such views, but they can be no further from the truth. I believe that the day I find a rock - an immutable human being, who won't transform overnight under the pressure of society and the force of circumstance - my search will end. The day I meet someone who tells me the one thing he/she believes in most strongly and upholds this belief   even as time and circumstances break him/her down, I will look no further. Unfortunately, however, such a person is an imaginary thing and I can no longer hope to find someone I can idolize.

But over the years, I have found a substitute to fill this widening void in life. Places, unlike people, do not  change at the blink of an eye. There is an air of constancy even in our mighty cities with their rising buildings. Even if the skylines do change, the foundations upon which they were built are unshakable. Better still are the places still untouched by man - high in the mountains or in the middle of the sea - where you can return year after year and be assured that you'll be greeted by the same magnificent sights you saw before. Places let you build memories, good or bad, which aren't really influenced by the subsequent memories of them. You can rationally separate them without getting them into a sticky, unintelligible tangle. People don't let you do all these things.

Call me a fool, but even after travelling to so many places, I can no longer tell you which place is better and which place is worse. I remain a terrible tourist-guide for I can only see difference and not good and bad. Places don't judge me and I shan't judge them. I think it is unfair, for every place offers the same amount of good. Time and again, I hear places being abused and sometimes, I cannot understand why. Comfort and discomfort are parts of a traveler's life but only ones he calls upon himself. And most places I have traveled to, probably like most places you've visited, are places inhabited by Man. How then, I ask you, can one group of people find it conducive for life when you can revile it with all your heart?

It is only a matter of perspective... The very perspective which changes so quickly under circumstances ensuring that you are tomorrow, no longer the man you are today. The moment you can look over all this and realize that everything lies in your mind and not outside, you become as steady as a mountain and tranquil as the sea.

The world you see is in your mind. It's not out there.