October Post

 I'm blank.

After aeons on this blog, I'm finally out of ideas to put into this Rich Text Editor window! It's something to do with work-life, I'm sure. Almost every blog I've followed ardently has met its bitter end once its author has gone through a major life-changing event, and I'm afraid that the this one too might go mainstream. Combating for survival and to retain this tiny speck of space I've got on the www, I embark upon this blog-entry, brilliantly and innovatively titled 'October Post'.

I'm sure that you, dear reader, are wondering what major life-changing event I might be going through that I'm pondering about sacrilegious acts such as abandoning the blog. If nothing of that sort crept into your head, you should probably stop here.

Since you are here, I'll let you in on the deal - it's work-life. And no, I'm not changing jobs. But work-life started over a year ago, you tell me. What's so life changing? Well, it just kicked in.

With the immense experience of one year at work, I've concluded that there are three important days in any employee's life: (1) The day you join, (2) The day 'it kicks in' and (3) The day you think you can't/won't do it any more. Today's probably the day 'it kicked in'.

I walked out of work today at 7 pm, as opposed to the routine 4:30, beaming joyfully at everyone I crossed. Many claim they hate morning-people, but let me tell you what people hate more - someone who leaves the office beaming. Anyway, having deftly evaded the watchman's cold stares, I went to the spot where I was supposed to have a bus waiting to whisk me away to sweet oblivion. But alas, there was nothing there save for the remains of a few cigarettes someone had smoked before they had boarded the bus .

This is the point where I'd have normally cursed and fumed. But no, today the positive forces within took me by surprise. I called Meru Cabs and the operator promptly put me on hold for eight minutes and thirty-seven seconds. I waited patiently and when the helpful executive finally came on line, I didn't abuse him. But then, he told me that the next Meru Cab would be available at my location at 9:30 pm. 'Can you wait for two and a half hours, sir?' he had the nerve to ask.

I got home using a series of auto-rickshaws, because no one would go the whole way. And when I reached, I still had a smile on my face. I think I've finally been institutionalized. I have finally accepted work-life for what it is. I think it has finally kicked-in.

Or maybe this story is something about the shiny new white-hat they bestowed upon me today, more out of pity than anything else.

Goodbye, Blue Sky.

I know what you're thinking. The fool who is touring India's most godforsaken places has written another post, probably moping after a 23rd peaceful February 14th. Let me assure you that albeit there was a post I wanted to write on V-Day, I missed my shot at that. So this is about something entirely different.

On February 12th, year of the lord 2012, I quit Facebook. Although I'm certain I'll be back in the crazy blue world, the battle has been won and it feels great to have defeated the system and exited the Matrix. (It's too bad I don't have Facebook to tell people how great this feels)

On Monday, my last status message on Facebook read, "Facebook, I have defeated you. Although you've made it so difficult for us to leave, I've said my goodbyes already. There's nothing you can do now: this Abhimanyu is escaping the Charkavyuh." (or something to that effect) The status hung in there only for fifteen minutes and although I'm certain it'd have gone on to become one of the great statuses of all time, gathering a hundred likes with ease, I realized that staying on FB just to see the ticker going crazy would defeat the entire point of the exercise.

Need For Change


There are days when I regret leaving the social network for it has become almost the sole way to keep in touch with all those second tier friends you love and stalk. We never lose touch with people we put in the "Close Friends" circle, with Facebook or without. What are phones for, eh? It's the people just outside the circle that we risk losing if and when we finally decide to take the leap. And then again, there are cute people of the opposite sex who're the engines of the networking site, really. Everybody lives in hope that suddenly, out-of-the-frikkin-blue, something that refuses to happen in real-life will happen in the online world, where you'll hit it off with the perfect stranger. Bah, humbug.


Well, I know quite a few couples who actually did meet of Facebook - so it's not entirely impossible... What I'm being critical off is the amount of time we invest on a virtual platform, trying to look better than we actually are. And then, there's the free time. No, actually there isn't - because Facebook eats up all your free time. Zuckerberg is a genius - he sucks up the whole world's free time and he makes money out of it.

Frankly, I'd much rather read a book or watch TV or talk on the phone than click on 'refresh'. Although it has a whole lot of benefits, the stuff you sacrifice is still disproportionately high. Over the last few years, I've completely lost the ability to read a novel in peace... Or study for a test without Facebook open on a Chrome Tab... Or sit in a bus and stare effortlessly out of the window.

It's all an overload of blue - everything I do these days. I desperately need another colour. Team India is blue, so is Chelsea... Schlumberger is a whole blue world. Facebook had to go.

How The War Was Won


One of the main regrets I have (and reason why I might come back) about quitting the habit is the fact that my blogs really won't receive as much attention any more. Well, I'm certain that I haven't lost you, reader, as yet but I'm sure it was easier when there was a link in front of you which you simply had to click. No one seeks out blogposts any more!

Facebook made it clear to me - what I'd be missing out on. In fact, it's the last line of defence and a pretty effective one at that!

The link to deactivate your FB account isn't at the most obvious of places... It's well disguised and once you get there, you will most likely be distracted by the ticker on your right. More brilliant that this though, is the fact that the link to 'Delete' your account isn't there at all! I'm quite sure it is around but it's buried somewhere deep.

So, when you click on the button, FB asks you for reasons. "Why are you quitting?" You feel so bad when you read this, you almost apologize and get right back in. The smartest aspect about it: the option buttons. The user get to choose why he/she is leaving from a list of around fifteen options. And each option has a remedy. So, if you, like me, decide to say, "I'm quitting because I'm spending too much time of Facebook", they'll give you ideas about how you can stay on FB and spend less time if you want. I'm quite sure you'll fail. But they'll win.

And finally when you get past that, they put up pictures of you with your friends. And people are waving you goodbye and Facebook says, "She will miss you" and all that rot. Again, the friends they show you won't be from the same circle - they'll be from different places. And they will often not be your closest friends - because FB knows you can keep in touch with them minus FB as well.

And then, you'll finally have the courage to press 'Exit' and FB will tell you that the only thing that you need to do in case you have a change of mind, is log-in again. But that barrier is enough for me... for a while, at least.

See you guys in a while.

The Call

I can broadly divide my life in R into two segments so far; one - an idyllic life with quaint pleasures and undulations, lackadaisical joys and soft sorrows, and the other – a violent onslaught, a race against everything worth racing against, bitter pain, gushing bile, infinite chaos and ultimate jubilation. While a timeline which I have carelessly doodled over Ms. Gandhi’s face on Hindu’s first page can hardly tell me which month of which year such a transit happened changing my Zion of freewheeling disorderliness to an imploding passageway of incessant chaos, I have a nagging feeling that I know when, what and how. That cognition doesn’t end there, but goes on to tell me that perhaps the halcyon days are back, after that wonderful, wonderful odyssey.

For I feel a lot stronger after taking blows on the chin without getting KO’d, a lot wiser after leading a myriad underlings to the finish line letting them believe that their halfwit overlord knew more than they did, a lot more impervious after acting like a clumsy clod on the line of duty and giving two hoots to the world as a whole and a lot more outgoing by the sheer compulsion of having to talk to every random person I’ve had the fortune of coming across, to some whom I still might and others who I never will, I relished the trip. I’ve been there and back again. And I know for sure that Experience is the greatest mentor.

But even a legendary mentor remains silent about certain intricacies of the trade. It didn’t take too many of my grey-cells to realize that Cognizance 2010 was part of the latter period of the aforementioned classification, not the period in whole but an indispensable part. And most of my job in Cognizance was to sit on an exorbitantly priced, obscenely comfortable and universally pursued black chair and push buttons on the thoroughly scratched Nokia N sincerely hoping that the person on the other end had enough money to spend and wouldn’t be parsimonious about going ‘All In’. In the end, one just fervently prayed that the bloke receiving the ring hadn’t had a row with his wife over the breakfast table. But nothing deterred those calls. And I believed I could talk anyone into anything.

Things have changed. My fabulous superstructure, it seems, was built upon a crumbling, half-wet foundation – and the castle won’t stand. The fact that I could once talk people into letting their money gallivant didn’t help when that phone call was made. All I wanted to do was to walk back to the crease in style for the second innings! Strike, strike, strike!! and I’m out. Thank you!

I’ve never really been a good phone-person from the days I can remember. But this was the height of frustration. When the normal howdy-whadoyoudo’s ended, I found myself hyperventilating. I tried unfastening the collar which I never wore and hopelessly tried freeing my trachea from that pretzel my imagination had deftly inserted. In the end though, logic prevailed in my utterance and I’m sure that the lack of Video communication would have made me sound fine on the other side. Until then. The conversation appeared to be taking a general route through the hackneyed happenings and mis-happenings of the past decade or so, mildly detouring through Nebuchadnezzar and Idi Amin – but ever so ephemerally that it was hardly discernable, when suddenly there was a lull.

A deafening silence which followed was rather unnerving. The worst part was the lack of any effort from the other side to soothe my nerves as I looked despondently for help. ‘Coupling’ came to mind and even ‘Friends – with Monica’s Cousin’ but I remembered none of them well enough to ape my way out. Then I coughed. Then I clung on to the lifeline and discoursed my way out, talking about the changing weather and susceptibility of even the most robust immunity system. My jokes had gone from ineffective to disquieting. I reconciled to the fact that a man like me has no hope. I dragged the conversation on for a few more minutes, but I was huffing and puffing in the end… turning purple by the effort it was taking.

Then, I gave up. I don’t remember how that happened though. The last lines I remember were directed against Alexander Graham Bell.

Zeitgeist

The last couple weeks have been quite phenomenal and unlike any of those three previous couples preceding the ominous end sems. For the first time during my tenure in R, I introduced myself to the 500 odd pages of study material well within the last one week. There have always been a few things I relish before the exams, simply because they provide that much needed break from monotony; that cushion against madness. For one, I have always loved those minutes in front of the mirror with a razor in hand, humming away 'November Rain' a day before the exams... The other thing, I have never failed to do is - posting, a day or two before the exams.

This time neither happened. I have, only now, typed out a post about the 'spirit of the time', just after getting rid of a week of stubble. All this, after two exams have passed! The semester has whizzed past at a breakneck pace and the past two weeks, perhaps even faster. Goodbyes were said and people took their final bows even as they braced themselves for a whole new journey... far away from R. Yet again, I realized how dear those old friendships are even as I saw that newer ties had blosommed and bloomed. A handful of photoshoots and some 200 photos later, we emerged, dazed by the flash. I have managed to pose in every weird way thinkable (and some unthinkable, courtesy Prondi). All the time, the second issue of the semester was developing into a twenty-pager and I hardly found time for anything else. Pressed, though I was, these have been some of the most beautiful days of my life. And I wish time would move a lot slower as I don't want to give up so much... so soon.

A TOC interview (in which Jetty, god alone knows how, rocked), some more chapos (you tend to get bored of them), Arth, an ex-chairman of WatchOut and lot more work have really left me out of breath. So much so, that the usual 'I really need to study now!' was replaced by 'Yaar, it's too late now; not much I can do anyway... Let's sleep.' With Facebook and GTalk permeating every nook and cranny of my life, even though I like neither of them, things have become even harder, if that was possible.

Two exams gone and five to go before its all over. Albeit the end of days continues to haunt me, I reflect upon how it has been so far. Nanotech was a clear 'No, no brain-er', though I had to pool in ideas with Jetty in order to bring out more comprehensive answers. However todays paper was, well... Par excellence. After a long time, a JEE style paper had me K.O'd. The last time, I scraped through. I'm not too sure about what is in for me this time around.

Having less time to study, courtesy WONA, and chosing to sleep during the time I had, I got up at first light today to realize that I knew next to nothing. Meticulously, I began improving my chances through the 'Store' function of my Casio 991-MS. Bravely, I entered the exam hall with some 47 odd pairs of eyes staring at me. I was late. As soon as I got seated, my usually impeccably superfoccused mind refused to cooperate! 'Dream On' and 'Comfortably Numb' looped some 4 times in my mind (apiece) after which I had the urge to study the frequency of the fan overhead... After some serious mind - focussing, I began unravelling the mysteries of Thermo using pen, paper and CalC when disaster struck. I pressed some thing I ought not have pressed! And soon, five of my stored variables read the same - 42! The answer to life, the universe and everything else? I doubt the prof will understand it, but I had no choice. Three hours later, it was heartening to see that everyone had messed their papers! Hope still lives on...

P.S. Everyone has been finding it strange; a change - they say, they see (saw, whatever). And accusations of a Kondy 2.0 have been brought about. Let me assure you here, ladies and gentlemen, that nothing has really changed.

P.P.S. Another reason why the last two weeks have been quite different; one to be happy about finally - HHH posted once. Only once.

To Forgo And To Forget

'Temasek' may not mean a lot to many (no, its not a Russian footballer) and fewer still would give the word more than a fleeting moment's notice. Others still, would see it as a chance of winning not only an all-expenses paid trip to Singapore (for six months), but also the unique opportunity of being able to forget about CGPA during the entire period while the insti maintains it for you. I have come under all the three categories of people I have mentioned during the course of the eventful week which has just elapsed.

I have always dreamt of travelling far and wide - seeing Machu-Pichu, Ougadougou, Vladivostok, Mogadishu... So what more could I have asked for when such an opportunity came knocking on my door - no strings attached? But soon after reflecting on it for but a few moments, I realized that there was, as there is to every good thing in this world, a flip-side of the deal... The implications of missing a sem and with it, one-eighth of my life in R seemed alarmingly profound. The profs who might be like - 'WhoTF are you?' when I get back... Friends who are separated from you by the Bay of Bengal and a few more seas... And juniors about whom you have no idea about in sections that you thought you knew! 'Hmmm, maybe it isn't a good idea after all."

But then, a half-hour spent with the Great Debator in the premises of the Ravindra Bhawan canteen laid all my worries to rest (and kinda made me look stupid to come up with them in the first place!) Paper work followed suit... We had to draft a matching plan with the names of the courses we would take in NUS in place of those here and then get it approved. It was just after the TS and we definitely weren't at our prime when it came to the speed and dexterity with which we were getting things done (Not that I'm any faster at my brisk best). Anyway, soon our hopes were high and my friend almost hummed a tune which sounded a bit oriental and a bit Tamizh!

However, the pace at which things went on, compounded by the many rules which bind our insti and the sloth which calls itself the Department of Chemical Engineering combined magnificently and resulted in a brilliant interview with the Dean of Academics. The prof. whose signature I needed on the all-encompassing subject-sheet did not set foot into the Department on D-Day (other profs refused to sign it citing difficulties in the matching) and I was left to fend for myself when I faced the panel.

The room had three inhabitants as I entered... The DoA, the coordinator of the NUS-IITR exchange (Co) and an Unknown Third Guy (UTG) (I didn't know him anyway). I made a grand entrance trying to look sad as well as hopeful - I had the required CG, you see... But the approved (subject) matching plan with NUS was not in my hands. Actually, the Subject-Plan was - just that there was no approval.

Trying to look guilty for my 'negligence', I sat there on the fourth chair as three pairs of eyes gazed keenly at me. My eyes, however, were fixed on the packet of Lays (American Sour Cream and Onion) placed at the centre of the table.

DoA: So (searching for the name) Anirudh, you have a good CGPA, we hear. One which matches our criteria.

Me: Yes sir. I understand that.

UTG: But we also understand that you do not possess the other criterion - the matching subject plan.

Me: Yes sir. (Avoiding the Lays packet now and looking straight at him) Actually, I do have the plan (holding up a folder) - only that it hasn't been fully approved. Four subjects out of six are oka-

UTG: That's a worthless piece of information you carry there. It clearly said 'Approved Plan'. You can read, surely?

Me: Yessir, I'm sure I can... But the head of the UG Committee didn't grace the department today. And we have shown it to the HOD als...

Co: Aapko leke aana chahiye tha. We can't wait any longer... Tomorrow is a holiday also.

UTG: What were you doing all these days? (Now to the DoA) Sir, we now have three applicants (only?!) - two, who don't possess the subject approvals and a third who doesn't match the CGPA criterion. (How convienient)

Me: Sir, could you give us another day? The TSs were the problem mainly and the fact that we didn't know what courses we have in the next sem. Regol has started now only sir...

DoA: I don't know if...

UTG: How can you even come up with such an excuse?? I'm sorry I don't think we can do anything about this.

DoA (now agreeing with UTG, who seemed to have sworn vengeance on me): Yes. I'm sorry Mr. Anirudh. The CG is okay but nothing can be done. Thank you.

Me: Thank you, sir. I understand that its too late. So if there is nothing that can be done... Thank you, sir.

As I left the room, I felt that maybe I should have insisted on a day's extension - maybe I gave in too easily.

But the next person into the room alleviated all those doubts. He argued for a while and ended up just short of being booted out of the room by the UTG, who now seemed to be on a roll having finished the entire 20 Rupees packet!

The whole experiance did leave me with a bitter taste. But then again, the plan may not have been approved even if the prof had arrived (though I'd have felt a lot better being rejected that way). One may feel it is 'sour grapes' if I say that now, 'I feel better that I didn't make it'. But that is exactly how I feel right now. The only regret I carry now is be the fact that I missed out watching the 3-1 Liverpool clobbering at Anfield (though I did watch the minute-by-minute commentary most of the time). All I'd say at the end of it all is the clichéd, but highly relevant 'All's well that ends well.'

P.S. The name is Ivanovic - Branislav Ivanovic.

P.P.S. Thus ended the first formal interview of my life (at least in R). In a nutshell, short and sweet (or sour, should I say)... I conclude here with the hope that I'll survive for a bit longer in the interviews to come. Amen.

TSs come and TSs go... but jobless we remain forever

I’ve been working off some of the backlog lately – remnants of a bygone age, unnecessary and yet compulsory. I still remember that day. Semester 3 (2-1), it was. Those were the days when I was still young and reckless, grabbing at everything I could see, constantly ending up with a lot more than I could handle. But that was also the age when my evangelistic avatar was willing to accept the burden and work towards its culmination…. But all that was back then. Now, I lack the zeal and vigour to take up those challenges which I’d have been more than happy to take up back then. I lack the force to back some of the claims I make...

As I was saying, it was one of those overenthusiastic days when I accepted my first “job” in IITR  from Rockstar (no, not 'Wha') who promised us (which would be Pinkster and me) great monetary reward in return for our commitment and hard work. Realizing that it was a good way to make a fast buck and since the ‘job’ involved editing (which I (we) love doing), we plunged headlong into the trap! There began my (not our) woes… I never realized that editing could be so monotonous and irksome! Actually, the fact that I’m still normal after those 100 odd clones, which they call articles, mystifies me. They all involved Horosopes, Love-o-logy etc… yes, I too thought they would be interesting at first but then after learning all the signs of the zodiac like the back of my hand, I beg to change my opinion.

For example, I can now tell you that because lion denotes king (or queen), Leos need lots of worship and compliments in order to be sure they're loved and admired and authority is what they seek etc. and I realize that I can lecture Sybyl Trelawney on divination. Maybe the experience would have been slightly better had I completed my work in time (which the Pinkster easily managed), which was due last semester, but the experience would have still barely fallen just short of ‘sad’. The fact is that the work got buried and it was only weeks (or months, was it?) of joblessness later, just when the TSs are around, I am told to get the work done ASAP (as always, more of S and less of P).

I begin: ‘The Virgo – Cancer Relationship’, I read… Ahh yes, Virgo, my sign! Maybe this’ll help me, I think at first. But sifting through the wads of pages, I emerge dazed, confused and unenlightened, uninspired… Virgo with Virgo, Libra and even Leo had gone by – I felt numb. Those tips, I had sought for, had deserted me even as I realized that the key lay not in the stars... That quantum of solace had eluded me! Facebooking relieved some of those stresses and strains (which according to MT-201, are quite different) as it told me that I was among the 1000 best minds in the world and that I was an 'Exponentiation Function' when expressed mathematically…. I also realized that it was the first of April and that something was needed with immediate effect - something which would liven the gloom and unbury the ghissus from their piles of books. My actions, the world knows now. For those who don’t know (and for those who do), visit www.jettyman.blogspot.com (and comment)…. The world laughed and hence, April first was a great day.

Feeling good, I would have gone on to ghiss… but slumber nabbed me when I was still in the process of devising the greatest quiz ever (it will be out in open market soon). Second of April was into its after-wee hours when I got back to my senses. An average day has ensued, but it is only towards the end that I have realized that I actually begun to like ghissing after a long while…. Immediately recognizing the weirdness (eeriness, actually) of the situation, in an attempt to remedy it, I sat down to write this post.

P.S. I really appreciate Jetty for having taken the blog in the right spirit (but it was classy, you ought to admit to that).

P.P.S. @ The Moustached Marvel, contrary to your requests, I don’t think I’ll mention Ms. Adjudicator ever. Beautiful as she was, she’s really not worth a post; an entity of the past.

P.P.P.S. @ All, Thank you all for the compliments for the other  (it’s no longer only for SHE ) blog. I recommend that everyone do something of greater scale next Fool’s day. As they say, add a li’l chaos into those normal, normal lives! 

And continue commenting (on that); we need to beat all blog records!

Ideaz - A Thesis on Cogni

Yes, today (yesterday) it happened. Efforts spanning over three months finally manifesting themselves as a brilliant three days was a pleasing sight. This being my first experiance with something so big made it all the more special. Albeit my job involved mainly sitting in the Cognizance office, I'm glad to have been part of the event which seems to have redeemed some lost glory after last year's abysmal show. Throughout the last three months, I have only looked forward to the event and now it has come to an end.

During my great sittings in the office - chatting with arbit creatures, studying the patterns of cracks developing on the walls (and hacking Jetty's facebook profile), I learnt that sitting can often turn out to be a regretful experience. Not only does your backside get numb after a while, it also leads to a highly vela (jobless) and destructive mind which only calms down (on further sitting) due to sleep. Nevertheless, as I was saying, I had looked forward to the event... and perhaps to the temporary periods of plush greenery on campus ('Think Energy. Go Green.' - it was always there for a reason).

Today, the curtains finally fell... (can I take a bow here?) and it was definitely better than I had imagined it to be. In fact Cognizance grew into something so big (amplified by the absence of mishaps during the event - apart from the falling of ceiling tiles at the string theory lecture) during the three days that even the anticlimax, being Anushka (who was bad; apart from the mini) and The Aryans (who were worse and didn't have the mini), couldn't cloud the aura. Even HHH stealing my icecream didn't dampen my spirit! (That's saying something...) The only regret which remains is the fact that I have wound up richer by not a penny (read: I did not participate in Ideaz).

I don't believe in lifting others' years of sweat and brilliance, putting it in one concise 10 slide ppt (or pptx) and winning myself two or three K (which every random guy seems to have done). If Ideas weren't enough, there were a more paper presentations - Prakriti and Urja, Ruraisle, and zillions of other such events attracted people from far off and wide - transcending states (and nations?). But these definitely satiated the monetary requirements of the Roorkee junta and also promises a number of chapos in the month to come. I'm disturbed by the ease with which people have made cash. But then again - maybe I should have entered one? Why blame someone else for my abysmally (yes, I've taken a liking for this word ever since I learnt how wrongly it can be used) dry Cogni!

The quizzes were there again... This time, more than the others, I regretted sitting through some of the torturous finals (esp. General - which gave even the finalists a headache and MMS - which I thankfully didn't sit through). I organized and I participated, but whatever I did - all the quizzes could be described by the great word - "Arbit". In fact it changed from arbit to arbiter to the  arbitest.

'Arbit-Quiz'-manufacturer: Any answers?

The-Biz-Whiz: Pass.

Arbit-fact-collector: That is an artists's depiction of Europa being kidnapped by Zeus! (what?)

'Arbit-Quiz'-manufacturer: What a nonchalant response!

Whoa! I came. I saw. I got Arbitted! As matter of fact, even Bizztech (to the great frustration of Ghajini) was arbit - reasons may have been many: the less time we'd got; we overslept etc... still. I nevertheless congratulate the winners of all  the quizzes whilst I'm still thoroughly perplexed as to where, how and why someone would gather such strange trivia!

Today, the last day of Cogni'09, was the first day I actually went out in a quest for events, but alas, there were none! As usual, the great saviour called Bakar was there yet again.... Though a certain Akhilesh's (who?) losses livened the atmosphere at UG. The day almost ended in a high but the cacophony at Pro-Nite quickly brought us down to the Earth and firmly rooted our feet in good ol' Terra Firma.

What I was looking forward to, since the holidays, has come and gone, leaving behind only a TS, an end-semester and lots of classes hovering ominously in our path. Talking about classes, what about tomorrow? (or is that today?)

P.S. We are the champions of Chandigarh... I congratulate the Biz Whizzes as well as Lit-Sec whilst I condemn Biz Whiz #1 for not showing restraint and rationale in his single handed 'completion' of certain purchases.

P.P.S. The aeroshow rocked. I didn't expect IITR to put up something like it...

P.P.P.S. Guus Hiddink is a magician.

I am a Walk-Sleeper - The Thomso Report

It's not often, even by Rke's slack standards, that a bloke gets 2 holidays in a row; first an unbearable 2 weeks and then another. Spice it up with a couple of Tests and a Thomso in the middle, and I begin to wonder who made the academic calendar... During the first bout, I found myself at home, idling away with my laptop, as other colleges didn't seem to share Rke's enthusiasm in supplying holidays thick and fast. And then, the festival of lights... I had one of the most boring Diwalis of my life. Crackers to be burst only after 7 : 30! What do you expect?

'Twixt these 2 sessions, we also had classes. But with 20 contact hours a week, I sometimes wonder if I am really here - in an IIT... The TS's blitzkrieg, however, blew away all those notions which tended to imply otherwise. Hot on its heels, Thomso 'happened' - chilling out all those overheated minds (at least, that was what it was designed to do). Then - Why, I ask myself, Why more holidays after Thomso? Here, for once, I agree with whoever chalked out this order-of-the-year. Thomso, in no way, brings rest and relaxation. In fact, it stretches you out till you are on the brink of insanity and the threshold of physical self-destruction. No wonder, we need a holiday to recover from it! Thank you, Mr. Clever Year Planner.

At certain points during those tumultuous four days, I wonder how I sewed up so many things without disturbing the space-time continuum (read : I didn't teleport under any situation). The previous year's Thomso had left me with sweet memories and good expectations to the extent that I remember mentioning to someone that we must have 2 Thomsos in a year. I take my words back - Let not such a punishment befall me! I never knew that the process of making an event fun for the others was a health-hazard for the organizers!

Thomso saw me in a variety of roles... all at the same time. 

(1) First 'Thomso Bytes' The Editor - The editing would be done during the small hours of the day, I was told. Unfortunately, this morning work often went on for a little longer than we expected, with the Day-1 morning stretching to 1800 hrs IST. Definitely, didn't get too much of Thomso that day! Over the next 3 days, rapid improvement was seen - (Taylor's principles and Gantt Charts were in use - read BM for more). The improvement, though, was short lived as Thomso ran out of days. (On Day 4, the work was done and the newsletter was out by 1 p.m. - I know, we rock!)

The delays notwithstanding, the Bytes was great - so say the junta - at least if one ignores the errors in the Errata.

(2) Then the MMS quiz - A QuizMaster - that was good. I love seeing people flabbergasted by a range of perplexing, outlandish and phenomenal questions. (I don't vouch for the latter part of the statement - but I assure you that the people were astounded)

(3) Pentafore - The Organizer - The event which got postponed, cancelled and then advanced. Well, that's how we work; the organizers get to guess when an event may happen and then struggle to reach the deadline. Nevertheless, it was my personal favourite. It would have been loved by any JAM aficionado; for that matter, anyone would have enjoyed the way a particularly zealous participant accused a certain organizer of the event of being a Catamite (I hope I have used the word to proper effect and please don't mind the spelling if it's wrong).

(4) Tissue Paper B-Plan - Thank goodness, I didn't do this too!

(5) A Passive Observer - I really didn't get to play this role much. And whenever, the observation was done, it was definitely passive. I barely had the energy to bat an eyelid!

It was night on Day 1, I believe... It was only after having completed the creation of the MMS Quiz in a room in Govind Bhawan that I realized that I hadn't brought my beloved Atlas-Flame along. What the hell? I can walk back to Cautley! At least those were my initial feelings. But as the cold enveloped my half-asleep self, I regretted those very thoughts. Firstly, I normally cannot sleep in the cold. And secondly, I don't usually walk when I'm asleep. But, that day something wierd happened. I was busy counting my steps as I walked that lonely path at 5 a.m. to prevent myself from dozing off and staggering into a gutter. 223, 224, 225... I was near the Chemical Department. 226, 227... Then blank. A few seconds later - 228! I was across the road in front of NIH! Had I just 'walk-slept'? That too, in a straight path? I don't know what happened after 227.

Amidst all these roles I played in Thomso and considering the fact that I had barely any time to actually enjoy the events, I still had fun - though I would never wish to do it again. A consolation, perhaps, is that people say Thomso wasn't great this year... Hmmm, maybe I didn't miss out on too much?

P.S. Yes, this hair-style is deliberate! People have made comparisons with Michael Scofield and Ghajini, so if you can't say anything good about it, don't say anything. And it means all you laughing jackasses out there!