Alvida

I entered this phase of my life as a sceptic - a disbeliever. I came prejudiced, constantly and repeatedly attempting to poison my mind with the words - "I shan't yield to temptation". Today, I stand a changed man. A believer. A sinner.

For these six weeks have given me some very memorable moments, ones I will cherish for a long, long time to come. I entered SLB wondering why they recruit people from the 'creamy layer' to perform tasks which any blundering idiot can also, with suitable training... Today I know that it isn't about the job as much as about the culture it brings about. Just like Roorkee, godforsaken that it is, has been able to develop its own quaint, unique culture, so has Schlumberger. And this, most disturbingly, has endeared it to me.

I recall those initial days when we underwent examinations which tested our safety training and safe operating practice knowledge. One particular exam required a minimum of 90% to pass and I can proudly say today, that it is the only test until today which I have failed. Four times in a row. Each of these times, there was this question which repeatedly occurred - "What is the last step after tool maintenance & check-up". I repeatedly dismissed a certain option the first few times, laughing my head off when I saw it pop up on the screen. I finally passed the test when I realized that it was, in fact, the correct answer - "Paint it blue".

These few weeks have seen me become a nomad, an epicurean, a spoilt brat, a romantic... I have come to enjoy a certain facet of life which I never knew I could - one involving the world of malls, movies, million-dollar houses, and more city. Somehow, I've also had the time to fall in love with any language which can make beautiful poetry - Urdu being the latest in this list...

I came to Mumbai happy that I was closer to Roorkee. Now, I wish I had more time here - Roorkee can wait. My blood seems to have turned a little blue and I know I have changed. I wonder if it is correct. Nevertheless, I find it exceedingly hard to separate myself from this experience. And I try to find solace in words:

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."

Foot-lose

If this day hadn't already done enough to merit itself a few inches of space on this Course of Human Events, the events of the last hour have made it inevitable. So much so, that I've succumbed to the thought that - if this post isn't made, nothing else is worth writing about! To begin with, this post could, so easily, have been titled 'Remember, remember; The seventeenth November'.

One major reason I didn't post promptly after receiving two wonderful messages was the fact that I didn't want to sound like a narcissistic creep. The other, of course, was because I wouldn't have had the time to draft one as I was drowned in a deluge of SMSs, GTalk IMs and gargantuan EDC and WONA threads (yes, the latter giving the former a run for its money). Now, however, I realize that this moment of indulgence is perhaps something I must be forgiven for... One of the many reasons which bind me to the blogosphere is the fact that 'konfessionsofageenius' is a chronicle of my life, and if this day didn't make it there among the top days, I don't know what would. Some day I'll look back at this post...

A miss, a mistake and Bang! A strange shortlist and a weird Group Discussion preceded what was to be a classy interview- a dream, to be precise. With no technical question asked and the interviewer delving into subjects like Lit and EDC, I thought I had a reasonable shot. Then finally, when he took a copy of the latest 'Watch Out!', I thought I had it... They made me wait, but yes - I got Schlum.

Just when the formalities of home-calling had been finished and the sluice-gates were gradually giving in, Cogni decides to put up the second overdue list of the day. I wonder whether there are two other such adjacent Cogni rooms in the insti now, apart from Pinky et moi. Well, forget the sluices now. The dam had collapsed.

It took a while for everything to sink in as people all over telephoned and messaged. Thank you, all. Some people went into praise mode, some asked for chapos, few asked me details of the interview, while some said 'I was being too modest'. Still others said that they were doing their best to ruin the day for me. Thank you, Dela. And thank you, Lefty, for having that happen. And thank you, Lit, for everything else about it.

That hasn't dented this evening, but a mongrel almost did. Well, I found myself in Ravindra an hour back trying to get my Practical work signed. A Research Scholar who wouldn't let me into his room with my shoes on greeted me. I took the Four-'K' pair off, of course, and earned entry into the room. Soon, he was using me as an office boy to tabulate his bills, even as he took his time signing my file. Needless to say, I was half Gujju when I left his room, albeit with some A's in the bag, only to see a single shoe greeting me at the threshold!

Who would take one shoe?! Half-an-hour of math was thrown out the window as I realized a single shoe in a Rs.4000 pair wasn't worth two grand. Soon, two madmen (one shoe-less) were seen outside the Ravindra canteen searching for an elusive shoe, which I was told, had been taken by a dog. Soon some others including the watchman joined us in the hunt even as I profusely insulted the RS's lineage in every language I knew. The dog was detected, but the shoe was gone.

Another half hour and thoroughly scanned grounds later, it was discovered beside a bathroom somewhere far-far away! Nothing has gone wrong (yet) and I walk with two shoes.

P.S. Happy birthday, Nimba. The 17th of November will be difficult to forget.

P.P.S. Thank you all. Again.

Interview Do's and Interview Don't's

It was sometime during the first week of this month, when I committed the second mistake of the sem, which incidentally also becomes the third mistake concerning my academic life; the first two being this and ITC. In the latter case, of course, I did not apply for the internship. After a lot of heartburn and having lost faith in all humanity, this disgruntled chap decided that never again would he miss an employment opportunity! And hence put himself in collision course with what could have been.

I know I'm not making too much sense yet, but when I tell you that I applied for 'M/s. Infosys' plainly because I wanted to make sure I didn't miss out on any more just because I didn't try (read into this line all you want), things surely become a lot more meaningful. The day after I pressed 'send', I was asked why I would do something outright dumb. Being the smartalec, I so often become, I quipped, "Even though I would NEVER do a coding intern, I don't buy the concept of letting opportunities pass. I'll screw up the pre-interview examination anyway! Don't you worry..."

It's not surprising then that 'today', as you will soon gather, came as a shock. I reach the Placement Office promptly at 6, to be told that there was no exam! 'A shortlist will directly be put up.'

For the benefit of the layman reader, let me lay down the placement ground-rules:

(1) Once you apply for a company, you can, under no circumstance, at no stage, withdraw the application without being debarred from placements henceforth. (A certain CS girl could tell you more.)

(2) Once you are selected for an intern, you cannot apply to any more companies.

(3) If anything can go wrong, it will.

At 6:15, a list of 15 names was displayed on the projector screen. I was among those. Cursing, I asked in vain how I could opt out. And then even more hopefully, I asked as to what an honest, hardworking Chemical Engineer can do in a great company like Infy. Again, gibberish.

NC Nigam saw me enter at 6:45 p.m., without a resume, dressed half like a dork and pretty much overwrought. I was hoping that sighting a bum like me devoid of even the dire necessity - a resume, I'd be booted out. Alas, they said the interview was to be telephonic.

Amidst all this chaos, there was one man who spiced this up even further - my HOD. In a frantic call to the great man, I heard him say the words, "Infosys doesn't give you 'in-plant training'. So, you cannot apply there! Strictly prohibited ! I won't let you do it..."

Those kind words revolutionized all future cerebration as now, not only did I have to give the interview (so as to not be debarred), I also had to flunk it! To cut a long story short, this is how it went:

The voice: Hello.

I: Hi, sir. A very good evening to you.

The voice: Good evening, Mr. Anirudh. Why don't we start off with you telling me something about yourself.

I: (Some bit of my history goes here...)

The voice: Oh good... You have mentioned 'Fluid Dynamics' as an area of interest here. Let's start with that. Suppose I told you to design a Room Heater, how would you do it?

I: I'd ask for the room size, ambient temperature, the requisite temperature... (This is when I realize I'm doing well)

I'm sorry, sir. I don't think I can tell you any more.

The voice: Why? You are doing really well... Go on.

I: I'm afraid that's all I know, sir.

The voice: Well... Don't worry. We'll go on to other topics.

What do you think is a continuous fluid?

I: Sir, the equation of continuity is...

The voice: No. Continuous fluid.

I: I don't know.

The voice (now a slight drag): Hmmm... Simple question now. What's the difference between 'Thermodynamics' and 'Fluid Dynamics'?

I: Why, sir! I always thought them to be very similar. There are subtle differences, but essentially same!

The voice (taken aback): Let's leave your Engineering skills alone now, Mr. Anirudh. Mental ability, now.

I: Sure, sir.

The voice: (Asks some question which required me to calculate the minimum time which four people require to cross a bridge, subject to certain conditions)

I: (After allowing considerable time for calculations, doodling all the while) Nineteen minutes!

The voice: Are you sure this is the answer?

I: No, I am not, sir. These are what my calculations tell me.

The voice: Well, what if I tell you this is incorrect?

I: Then, I'd have to tell you that I'm incapable of coming up with the right answer.

The voice: Don't get disheartened now... I'll give you a hint. (Proceeds to do so) Now?

I: (Taking some time again) Interesting... Informative, though your hint was, sir, I'm afraid it helps me in no way! I don't exactly comprehend its relevance.

The voice: It was great talking to you, Mr. Anirudh.

I: My pleasure, sir. Have a good evening!

That's that! And God is great!

Zeitgeist

The last couple weeks have been quite phenomenal and unlike any of those three previous couples preceding the ominous end sems. For the first time during my tenure in R, I introduced myself to the 500 odd pages of study material well within the last one week. There have always been a few things I relish before the exams, simply because they provide that much needed break from monotony; that cushion against madness. For one, I have always loved those minutes in front of the mirror with a razor in hand, humming away 'November Rain' a day before the exams... The other thing, I have never failed to do is - posting, a day or two before the exams.

This time neither happened. I have, only now, typed out a post about the 'spirit of the time', just after getting rid of a week of stubble. All this, after two exams have passed! The semester has whizzed past at a breakneck pace and the past two weeks, perhaps even faster. Goodbyes were said and people took their final bows even as they braced themselves for a whole new journey... far away from R. Yet again, I realized how dear those old friendships are even as I saw that newer ties had blosommed and bloomed. A handful of photoshoots and some 200 photos later, we emerged, dazed by the flash. I have managed to pose in every weird way thinkable (and some unthinkable, courtesy Prondi). All the time, the second issue of the semester was developing into a twenty-pager and I hardly found time for anything else. Pressed, though I was, these have been some of the most beautiful days of my life. And I wish time would move a lot slower as I don't want to give up so much... so soon.

A TOC interview (in which Jetty, god alone knows how, rocked), some more chapos (you tend to get bored of them), Arth, an ex-chairman of WatchOut and lot more work have really left me out of breath. So much so, that the usual 'I really need to study now!' was replaced by 'Yaar, it's too late now; not much I can do anyway... Let's sleep.' With Facebook and GTalk permeating every nook and cranny of my life, even though I like neither of them, things have become even harder, if that was possible.

Two exams gone and five to go before its all over. Albeit the end of days continues to haunt me, I reflect upon how it has been so far. Nanotech was a clear 'No, no brain-er', though I had to pool in ideas with Jetty in order to bring out more comprehensive answers. However todays paper was, well... Par excellence. After a long time, a JEE style paper had me K.O'd. The last time, I scraped through. I'm not too sure about what is in for me this time around.

Having less time to study, courtesy WONA, and chosing to sleep during the time I had, I got up at first light today to realize that I knew next to nothing. Meticulously, I began improving my chances through the 'Store' function of my Casio 991-MS. Bravely, I entered the exam hall with some 47 odd pairs of eyes staring at me. I was late. As soon as I got seated, my usually impeccably superfoccused mind refused to cooperate! 'Dream On' and 'Comfortably Numb' looped some 4 times in my mind (apiece) after which I had the urge to study the frequency of the fan overhead... After some serious mind - focussing, I began unravelling the mysteries of Thermo using pen, paper and CalC when disaster struck. I pressed some thing I ought not have pressed! And soon, five of my stored variables read the same - 42! The answer to life, the universe and everything else? I doubt the prof will understand it, but I had no choice. Three hours later, it was heartening to see that everyone had messed their papers! Hope still lives on...

P.S. Everyone has been finding it strange; a change - they say, they see (saw, whatever). And accusations of a Kondy 2.0 have been brought about. Let me assure you here, ladies and gentlemen, that nothing has really changed.

P.P.S. Another reason why the last two weeks have been quite different; one to be happy about finally - HHH posted once. Only once.

To Forgo And To Forget

'Temasek' may not mean a lot to many (no, its not a Russian footballer) and fewer still would give the word more than a fleeting moment's notice. Others still, would see it as a chance of winning not only an all-expenses paid trip to Singapore (for six months), but also the unique opportunity of being able to forget about CGPA during the entire period while the insti maintains it for you. I have come under all the three categories of people I have mentioned during the course of the eventful week which has just elapsed.

I have always dreamt of travelling far and wide - seeing Machu-Pichu, Ougadougou, Vladivostok, Mogadishu... So what more could I have asked for when such an opportunity came knocking on my door - no strings attached? But soon after reflecting on it for but a few moments, I realized that there was, as there is to every good thing in this world, a flip-side of the deal... The implications of missing a sem and with it, one-eighth of my life in R seemed alarmingly profound. The profs who might be like - 'WhoTF are you?' when I get back... Friends who are separated from you by the Bay of Bengal and a few more seas... And juniors about whom you have no idea about in sections that you thought you knew! 'Hmmm, maybe it isn't a good idea after all."

But then, a half-hour spent with the Great Debator in the premises of the Ravindra Bhawan canteen laid all my worries to rest (and kinda made me look stupid to come up with them in the first place!) Paper work followed suit... We had to draft a matching plan with the names of the courses we would take in NUS in place of those here and then get it approved. It was just after the TS and we definitely weren't at our prime when it came to the speed and dexterity with which we were getting things done (Not that I'm any faster at my brisk best). Anyway, soon our hopes were high and my friend almost hummed a tune which sounded a bit oriental and a bit Tamizh!

However, the pace at which things went on, compounded by the many rules which bind our insti and the sloth which calls itself the Department of Chemical Engineering combined magnificently and resulted in a brilliant interview with the Dean of Academics. The prof. whose signature I needed on the all-encompassing subject-sheet did not set foot into the Department on D-Day (other profs refused to sign it citing difficulties in the matching) and I was left to fend for myself when I faced the panel.

The room had three inhabitants as I entered... The DoA, the coordinator of the NUS-IITR exchange (Co) and an Unknown Third Guy (UTG) (I didn't know him anyway). I made a grand entrance trying to look sad as well as hopeful - I had the required CG, you see... But the approved (subject) matching plan with NUS was not in my hands. Actually, the Subject-Plan was - just that there was no approval.

Trying to look guilty for my 'negligence', I sat there on the fourth chair as three pairs of eyes gazed keenly at me. My eyes, however, were fixed on the packet of Lays (American Sour Cream and Onion) placed at the centre of the table.

DoA: So (searching for the name) Anirudh, you have a good CGPA, we hear. One which matches our criteria.

Me: Yes sir. I understand that.

UTG: But we also understand that you do not possess the other criterion - the matching subject plan.

Me: Yes sir. (Avoiding the Lays packet now and looking straight at him) Actually, I do have the plan (holding up a folder) - only that it hasn't been fully approved. Four subjects out of six are oka-

UTG: That's a worthless piece of information you carry there. It clearly said 'Approved Plan'. You can read, surely?

Me: Yessir, I'm sure I can... But the head of the UG Committee didn't grace the department today. And we have shown it to the HOD als...

Co: Aapko leke aana chahiye tha. We can't wait any longer... Tomorrow is a holiday also.

UTG: What were you doing all these days? (Now to the DoA) Sir, we now have three applicants (only?!) - two, who don't possess the subject approvals and a third who doesn't match the CGPA criterion. (How convienient)

Me: Sir, could you give us another day? The TSs were the problem mainly and the fact that we didn't know what courses we have in the next sem. Regol has started now only sir...

DoA: I don't know if...

UTG: How can you even come up with such an excuse?? I'm sorry I don't think we can do anything about this.

DoA (now agreeing with UTG, who seemed to have sworn vengeance on me): Yes. I'm sorry Mr. Anirudh. The CG is okay but nothing can be done. Thank you.

Me: Thank you, sir. I understand that its too late. So if there is nothing that can be done... Thank you, sir.

As I left the room, I felt that maybe I should have insisted on a day's extension - maybe I gave in too easily.

But the next person into the room alleviated all those doubts. He argued for a while and ended up just short of being booted out of the room by the UTG, who now seemed to be on a roll having finished the entire 20 Rupees packet!

The whole experiance did leave me with a bitter taste. But then again, the plan may not have been approved even if the prof had arrived (though I'd have felt a lot better being rejected that way). One may feel it is 'sour grapes' if I say that now, 'I feel better that I didn't make it'. But that is exactly how I feel right now. The only regret I carry now is be the fact that I missed out watching the 3-1 Liverpool clobbering at Anfield (though I did watch the minute-by-minute commentary most of the time). All I'd say at the end of it all is the clichéd, but highly relevant 'All's well that ends well.'

P.S. The name is Ivanovic - Branislav Ivanovic.

P.P.S. Thus ended the first formal interview of my life (at least in R). In a nutshell, short and sweet (or sour, should I say)... I conclude here with the hope that I'll survive for a bit longer in the interviews to come. Amen.