Wednesday 2 September 2009

La Gare Du Nord

I expected a blast of cold air, or at least a chilly October-ish breeze. Instead, a 95% R.H. welcomed me with open arms to the great state of J&K. It wasn't my first visit to the state (and neither should it be my last) but everytime I reach Jammu, I somehow expect blizzards and Yetis even though I'm sure that the odds of those happening are about the same as a tsunami in Roorkee. Nevertheless, I was decieved once again.

Hemkunt Express was expected to reach the Jammu Tawi train station at quarter to five, a deadline - I'm quite sure it met, because, when I was rudely shaken awake sometime later by someone who looked like he had come to clean the compartment, the train was pretty much stationary, not to mention empty. An expletive for the man and an ejaculation of gratitude directed upwards (for making Jammu the last stop) later, I alighted, groggy and fatigued; drag-bag and all. The stares I obtained from the few people waiting on the platforms told me that I much resembled the Muddlehead from Petushkee. Undeterred and unfazed by my hostile environs, I continued to stumble forth towards the fat man in khakhi who stood by, what looked like, the gate. I must mention here, that the station betrayed no signs of this being the capital (if only Summer) of the crown-state of India.

My cell-phone battery was dead and I needed to contact Dad who I was to meet as soon as he alighted his own train from Delhi. The problem was I didn't register his coach number, the train's timing or even it's name! The lack of a timepiece and my inability to tell the time by looking at the stars and the moon, lead me to approach the previously mentioned fat-man ('FM' henceforth) in khakhi (who plays a wonderful part in this tale).

I: "Uncleji, time kya hua hai?"
FM: "Mere haath pe ghadi dikti hai kya? Time pooch rahe ho!"
I: "To time kahan se pata karoon? Actually, main train keliye wait kar raha hoon."
FM: "Mujhe pata nahin... Idhar-Udhar dekho. Kahin na kahin to mil hi jaayega."

I assumed he was talking about a clock, and not the train, and proceeded to follow his wise instructions. The quest for the elusive clock in the railway station followed and luckily, I wasn't to be disappointed. Within five minutes, I had indeed zeroed in on the location of a clock. But what I saw alarmed me! The clock (I swear) read: 4:61! I didn't bother checking whether it was A.M. or P.M, of course. Hapless and lost and running out of time, I ran back to the only source of information I had.

I: "Sirjee, yeh phone ko charge karna hai. Plug-point kahan milega?"
FM: "Kaunsa SIM Card hai?"
(I didn't think it was his business. Nevertheless)
I: "Airtel Prepaid."
FM: "Idhar dekho." (Suddenly switching languages) "The Airtel SIMs of India do not work here. And our SIMs do not work in their states!"

I was so baffled by his latest vocalization that I collapsed on my suitcase. India? Jammu? Passports?!

However, the next few words just about escaped my mouth.

I: "STD or PCO booth? Where can I find one?"
FM: "Arre, samajhte nahin ho tum! Hamara desh bahut gareeb hai... Idhar aapko booth-vooth nahin milne wala."

I was utterly devastated after the chat and began thinking up ways to beg, borrow or steal my way back to R, which seemed like heaven now!

However as the story goes, I travelled a kilometer outside the station premises to locate an open PCO. I made the call and intercepted Dad's train. The remainder of the journey went quite uneventfully with the climb from Katra proving to be a wonderful experiance once again!

I finish off this post rather hurriedly as I have two exams to write tomorrow. Happy Onam to all. Jai mata di.

Notes:
#1. This is part of my pre-exam stress relief exercise. And yes, I remain sane.
#2. According to the Hindu calendar, I have completed 20 years on this Earth today.
#3. Chelsea is depicting sheer class! Hope it lasts. It's beautiful football.

7 comments:

  1. "ejaculation of gratitude", "latest vocalization"- I initially wondered if the story was a dream, and later I thought you were dreaming when writing this!

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  2. 4:61?? u didn't give a possible explanation?
    but I think the story carried an unhappy message. A similar incident occurred with me when I was on a similar tour to Katra and further.....

    and yes not to mention...I quite like the way you narrate the things...

    btw I repeat I have changed the id of my blog
    http://rahulsharmaspeaks.blogspot.com
    (I don't know you read it or not but the link should be correct..right??)

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  3. 4:61.. lol. The katra trip last year was the best one of my life, but that that maybe because we were in a large group which made the climb fun. However I am sure your situation would have freaked out the best of people.

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  4. @ Murtha,

    No da... Merely trying to put into use what the great P. Jha told us. The dreams came later when I dozed off after posting. The nightmare was the following day.

    @ RS,

    Duly noted! And not to worry... I do read your blog! Just that I didn't find time to comment before the TSs. Count on me as a regular feature on that list henceforth. By the bye, I actually don't try to convey messages :) And yes, it was 4:61.

    @ R S,

    oH YES... I remember those days of RS 2.0 and the great transform in all IMG guy's lives!

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  5. For once I second Moor... Ejaculation of Gratitude? Raghav must be smiling right now. Why have all maddus become so perverted?

    Hmm....Weird that while the nation is fighting so hard for kashmir, many of the people there don't have this sense of belonging.

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  6. A very nice anectode to share with everyone just before the TS, but I am afraid, I am reading it very late. Your predicament was admittedly pitiable, but a worthwhile experience nonetheless.

    And I am sure you had no perverted intentions while penning this one down, stressed that you were owing to the looming tests!

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  7. @ Chronoz,

    What the hell?! What is wrong with the word 'ejaculation'? And whatever is wrong with 'vocalization'?! Perverted basters, all of you!

    The second part, I totally agree with.

    @ mK,

    I definitely didn't have any intentions but of relating a tale which was still fresh in the mind! No titillating connotations were ever intended!

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