1. There has been an alarming rise in the amount the rhyme-intake I have suffered in the past two weeks.
2. I have been kept away from my blog for far too long.
1 + 2 = (the following)
Spluttering and spewing rocks a-tonne…
The heavens roared as the rocks soared,
Leaving us – the third rock from the Sun.
And then came the chivalrous TRex,
While Thunder-lizard still gnawed on tree.
The Ents grew and Archaeopteryx flew;
The Earth had sprouted, Life was free!
Ever since then, there have been Bards;
The Beedles and tree-tied Cacophonixes.
Be whatever type, a poet’s figments are ripe
Unravelling Life’s sundry paradoxes.
And today we shall go forth; we shall
Attempt to consign, categorize and classify –
These rhymes and schemes; their crimes and dreams…
Into Ballad, Tautology, Death and Lie.
There are many forms and kinds of verse
Much more than there are kinds of any other thing!
Ranging from terse to plainly morose;
The wisest pen, as does every ding-a-ling.
In a world so vast and wide…. and weird
I try, desperately, to analogize…
But then Hey! Just a letter ‘E’ away,
I find ‘bEards’ closest to my prize!
‘Beards’ and ‘Bards’ have more in common
Than letters – two incremented thrice
A Bard for a season; a Beard for a reason
And vice-versa decidedly applies!
There’s the modern clean-shaven man
As unremarkable as his shaving blade.
His verses are blank, but intelligent prose does rank
Among the best poems ever made.
The stubbled gentleman is beyond salvage
For a cynic, a disbeliever is he.
With no time to save; no wonder – no shave!
His rhyme: A troubled Ode, Suicidal Plea.
Then, there are French-bards. Vive!
They are romanticists to the core
Fair maidens blush; while wading mush
Every line attempts to hit your heart for Four.
The rugged Mountain-men are a rarity these days
Their unmistakable ballads resemble holocausts more
Than love stories; or Vampires on trees
Though unpopular now, they’ll go down as folklore.
The Goatee is the most plebeian form
As he attempts to take conquered ways.
As different from the rest; as a joke from jest
He bleats out ‘rhymers’ at alarming pace!
Then there’s a motley collection of twisted forms:
‘Soul patches’, ‘Mutton-chops’ and untrimmed ‘Art’.
Harder to explain, is the Women-poetry strain
Which I shall save for ‘B(e)ards’ – 2nd Part!
Their unmistakable ballads resemble holocausts more
Than love stories; or Vampires on trees
Though unpopular now, they’ll go down as folklore.
The Goatee is the most plebeian form
As he attempts to take conquered ways.
As different from the rest; as a joke from jest
He bleats out ‘rhymers’ at alarming pace!
Then there’s a motley collection of twisted forms:
‘Soul patches’, ‘Mutton-chops’ and untrimmed ‘Art’.
Harder to explain, is the Women-poetry strain
Which I shall save for ‘B(e)ards’ – 2nd Part!
This is what TheOatmeal would have looked like, had it belonged to the 16th century.That is high praise but i bet you were indeed inspired by Mr. Innman.
ReplyDeleteREspEcta
ReplyDeleteSalute, as usual!
ReplyDeleteThere are some chronological discrepancies in the second stanza. The T-Rex evolved in the late Jurassic and Cretaceous. Indeed, it was one of the last dinos alive. You should have started of with prokaryotic aquatic life, moved on to the prosauropods, then picked up all ornithoschians. Therefore, the archeopteryx would have lived around the same time. Ents, though, would fit perfectly at any part in the poem, seeing we know little or nothing about their origin/evolution.
ReplyDeleteI like moustaches more. As Superstar says in Thillu Mullu, "Moustache is the mirror of the heart".
ReplyDeleteNice poem da.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteditto my comment on fb.
ReplyDeleteKeep the variety bringing da! :)
@ Prachi,
ReplyDeleteYou place me in the medieval age?! Deeply disturbing... Of course, Innman was a driving force! I shall strive to reach 'Cat' class.
@ PiSR@,
I read your poem before this post. Mutual reteckpa! Bagga was the spark which led to this...
@ PPT,
Thank you...
@ Rapster,
I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get personal... But I'm not an authority on your family tree da. Good to see you're with me on Ents.
@ Chronoz,
I'm sure... True maddu that you are. 'Are you the man or the mouse?'
@ Vikesh, Thanks for whatever you did.
@ Shaggy, Danke... Will try.
honest: couldn't get much of it...
ReplyDeletePeople with a perverted sense of humour are often bad at giving second thoughts. Never be careless about your accounts, blogger too.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, brilliant poem Kondrews! Variety, as Raghav rightly said. Uncorrupted piece of literature.
Looking forward to the second part.
Your poem suddenly made perfect sense to me this morning. Tell me, when did the horse start mounting the rider?
ReplyDeleteREstEcpa, Kondy.
@ RSV,
ReplyDeleteI'll explain then... But stop thinking this hard!
@ Vix,
You won't give up, will you? Thank you.
@ mK,
Thanks. But this has nothing to do with the figure inscribed on the RVB compound-wall...