Friday, 9 July 2010

The Problem with Football Fans...

I am not an expert on football and these few paragraphs can be forgiven as being written by a mature n00b who is just getting to know his way around the beautiful game. And since it is a fact that I have followed Joga Bonito closely for but the last year and half, I shall not profess to know much more than you, which in all probability I do not. But I shall also take this as a chance to be vocal about my abhorrence for all other people who have grown into football pundits overnight!

I had never given much thought to the lines I first came across on Murty's blog - "Opinions are like feet. Everyone has a couple and usually they stink." During this time of the year, the odour is particularly putrid and rotten. This is the time of the year you hear the - "How can you watch this World Cup dude? There is no Brazil or Argentina..." And then the chums chiming in - "There's no Messi! How is this a football World Cup?" And then, it get's worse. If the football were made of ferromagnetic material, then Messi's feet are two magnets; this doesn't necessarily mean these magnets did anything great in RSA! So it makes me want to puke when someone shrieks - "OoooOOoh! Messi... Whatta player... What a shot!!" - when the little master has barely touched the ball.

These are men and women who snigger at you when you shout at the top of your voice, exulting when a goal is scored... Or when you curse the ref harshly and desperately throw up your right arm as though the referee, on seeing you from inside the TV, will dish out a few Yellow cards! On the other hand, I find people trying desperately to learn Mesut Oezil's spelling in German (with the umlaute) by rote only so that they can make a witty comment about him at a lunch conversation the next day! I don't mind it that much really; if only they managed to keep it at this much wit. But then they soon start correcting you. Wrongly. Fernando Torres invites more and more insult as days pass, while it is quite clear that even the great David Villa cannot play in that central striker's position profitably for Spain; he needs to drift in from that left-side. I shall refrain from saying more as it will be an act of egoistic hypocrisy.

And it isn't because of profound soccer knowledge or detailed statistical analysis that I make yet another prediction, but because I feel that I can do most of what an Octopus can. And since I'm riding on a wave of luck, I shall make as bold as to say that Spain will win this World Cup, in spite of making the task a million times harder than it ought to have been for them. And to all those out there who have never watched a game and yet shoot your mouth, "Shut up."

P.S. Yes, Holland deserves to be in the Finals.


  1. You should read Studs-Up. The guy's doing some great pieces on the Yanks getting to soccer.

    Thanks for the link, by the way.

  2. nicely put.. i liked the quote on opinions..:)

  3. I supported Germany because they give DAAD. I will support Spain because Ramos looks like Nadal (and because I think Villa is handsome). Seriously, even after getting interested in football and watching all the matches of this World Cup I cannot think of any reason why people religiously support a country which is not their own.

  4. I've heard the quote on opinions before, although it wasn't feet with which the analogy was drawn, it was a more...private part of the human anatomy :p

    Agreed that Holland deserved to be in the finals. They might not have played the Total Football of the 70's, but they've played sensible games and worked their way to the finals.

    And not to nitpick, but why would one need to know how Oezil is spelt for a verbal lunch conversation? :)

  5. I don't blame the opinionated morons considering I pretty much fall into the same category. IMHO, opinions only point of difference between humans and octopuses. We're all paulies in our right.

  6. What you gave here is an opinion. And opinions are like feet. Everybody has a couple, and they usually stink.
    Same holds for me. Same holds for you.

    What I gave here is an opinion. It probably stinks worse than the foulest smelling gutter-weed from the dirtiest corner of the city.

  7. Murty, No probs... And 'Studs-Up' eh? I should read...

    Kozhi, Danke.

    Vixie, You finally learnt the difference between a penalty and a free-kick, mehears :) Congrats!

    Ani, Lol. Yep, the Dutch are finally flying...

    Shreyas, We all do... Paulie doesn't opine. He predicts.

    Arun, True.

  8. Dude, I have played FIFA 99 for ages. I can beat you at Word Class difficulty level any day.

  9. which, of course, also means that I've always understood the difference.