Awake!

It all began in the dying hours of the 25th of this month... What began? I mean the week; the week began with the stroke of midnight 26-01-2009. Of course, I'm assuming that you, like me, wish to think that a week begins on Monday (unless it is a Muslim country in which case I would believe that the week started on Saturday). Let me assure you - It's a good way to go about things.... This way your week ends with a bang; the 2 big S's of the week bringing some respite after a tough 5 days.

The way I look at it, Saturday and Sunday provide the much needed motivation and hope to go on with life; to go on with the week and end it... a hope like the light at the end of a dark tunnel. (I’ve discounted the possibility of that light at the end being a train.) Anyway, God bless the man who declared Saturday a holiday. (Not the creator of the 'Sunday holiday’. You see, Sunday has always been a holiday – there was never any doubt.)

Now, where was I? Ah yes, 25th January, 2009. That was a Sunday of course. Like I told you, I love the concept of 2 day weekends - It's the coffee for life; it keeps us going. This time, it was different – even better. 26th was a holiday too! God bless the British! (Someone ought to suggest celebrating our liberation from the Mughals et al - we could always do with more patriotism... and more holidays.)

It was around 10 p.m. that night when I first took notice of what I thought was a primitive game with ancient graphics, which anyone with a good knowledge of C++ and some graphics could create. I laughed it off with disdain and ridiculed the people who were playing it. Such a childish game! 'Little Fighter', I believed, was strictly was the birds. A multiplayer fighter game with heroes having special powers like 'Tiger Dash', 'Destructo Disk' and 'Fireball' etc.... I wondered how stupid you should be to play that! Well, how wrong I was…. I had completely ignored the delicate mastery of the game design, the small features which lead to such great addiction and finally result in the complete incarceration of the human mind. I was called to play a single game, but the brilliance and simplicity of 'Little Fighter' left me awestruck and glued to the screen.

We were 8 people and all combos were played - 3 vs. 3 (2 people were asleep), 3 on comp, 4 vs. 4, 8 vs. computer... this list goes on. It was only the clock which brought me to my senses again - it said 4 am. Normally, it wouldn't have been such a big deal, but I had plans for 26th Jan.... I wouldn't want to let go of a chance to see the RD parade on live streaming video - it brings out the patriot in me. More to the point, I wouldn't let go of a chance to see the cadets freezing their a**es off in the cold to put up what at best can be called a shoddy, dismal show. That brings out the sadist in me. It’s like saying, "Ha ha! Look at you poor B@#$*^%s! I can't believe I did that last year! But anyway, this time, it’s you..." (I wonder if many people share these feelings of mine.)

At 4, I left the gaming room – vowing to rekindle my romance with 'Little Fighter' when I got the time – which by now, I called the 'Most Fun Multipayer Game in recent times'. But it was only 2 hours of 'Friends' later (I realized that I would anyway miss out on the patriotism and sadism) that I finally succumbed to fatigue. After all, Monday was a holiday too. So I guessed I would sleep into the afternoon (or maybe the evening). One thing I definitely believe in is that your week must begin well or else you are in for a bad 5 days ahead. So hoping for a pleasant beginning, I hit the sack.

Soon there were beautiful meadows and a bright sun overhead... A land covered in a misty overcast. It was a lovely sight. People were few, mostly travellers and maybe a handful of farmers here and there; an inn here, a farm there...

It was only after a while that I noticed that people were afraid of me. No, not afraid – Maybe a tad respectful. But why? Then, I noticed the cape... My cape. Hmmmm…. Was ‘it’ real?! I realized that I was some sort of a superhuman being (after all, I was floating most of the time). Was I...? Was I really... I was a 'Little Fighter'! The power – I had, the force was with me!

But there was so much I didn't know.... Did I protect this hamlet? Had I slain many foes? What was my name?? I realized that I required a name. Maybe I had one; but one that I didn’t know wouldn’t have been useful so I started wondering about a new one which would send chills down my opponents’ spines (before I broke them). But my thoughts were cut short. On the horizon, walking towards me was this most lovely sight. The most beautiful girl I had ever seen... I couldn't see very clearly due to the mist. I was about to wave away the mist when - Bam! My head had clearly been hit from behind... and I went flying.

I got up immediately to identify my foe and put him down for good. To my surprise it was a decent looking middle aged man, a man with a familiar looking bulky cloth bag - someone I recalled from somewhere.... But I didn't have time. I ducked two of his wild swings and caught his chin with a reverse roundhouse. I thought that it ought to have immobilized him for a while and I began to turn towards the damsel again... But no! He began to multiply. He, no – they chanted something. Soon I was surrounded by clones of this man all shouting something which made my head throb rhythmically - Bam Bam BAM! What were they saying? 'K... P... D....' Something like that... BAM! No it couldn't be!!

I realized who the men were... But it couldn't be. Not you, not here! Dammit, this was supposed to be a good dream! I realized that these people were my 'Dhobi'. It all came together – the cloth bag and the familiar face. No! I knew I was going to open my eyes.... Of all people, it had to be him. MY DHOBHI! Not just one, but hundreds of him! I had to leave this place… But one last time, I had to see... I turned to look at the lovely lady. But  'K... P... D...' BAM!!

'ALRIGHT ALRIGHT! I'm awake already!!'

'Bam Bam Bam' went the door....

'Kapde de do Bhaiyya!!' went the washerman. Ohh, that was it. Not ‘K... P... D’ but ‘Ka..p..de’.

'You sadist... Killjoy.... It's a free Monday.' But I knew that I had to go and fetch those clothes before he tossed them into that eternal vortex of lost garments. The cold woke me up completely... But then, determination, grit and the satisfaction that he had returned 100% of my clothes helped me attain the gifts of Morpheus again in a few minutes. But as you would have guessed, it wasn't long before the second bout of attacks came in....

This time with authority. 'What the hell,' I thought. I wasn't going to open that door this time. I thought that by ignoring the door, the imbecile(s) would have sense enough to leave... But no! They were very persistent, and with unerring and irritating accuracy, they didn't even miss the beat. Thud, Thud... Thud... Thud Thud... A few muttered expletives later, I managed, "Abey kaon?" (Who the hell is it?)

Reply: Warden.

Now that hit me with a jolt. Even through the stupor, I distinctly recalled that I had no blood ties with the warden of Cautley Bhawan. Nor did I know the bloke too well. So he definitely didn't come here out of love or care for me. I quickly went through the possibilities. I didn't smoke – anyway they don’t chuck people out of a hostel for that. I definitely didn't have any grass on me... Oh no! Where did I put that last bottle of Smirnoff? Then I realized, I didn't possess that either. I was safe.

Gathering myself (and shoving the “illegal” water - kettle under the bed), I reached for the door, unbolted it and yanked it open. The sunlight was too bright for any sleepy man's liking. There, just outside S-7 Cautley were two men in suits. One man strolled straight into my room as if it was his and said to the other, "Welcome sir. This is your room."

What? For almost 7 months now, I've been under the belief that this room belonged to me! I pinched myself to make sure this part was real and not a dream. It hurt.

'This is where you stayed 20 years back," he added.

Ohh great! 20 years ago! A damn alumnus to wake you up... I couldn't have asked for more. I tried to control myself from saying something wrong in front of the warden but an abusive was bound to slip out. What a @*&%#!\ without any consideration! Like he didn't sleep on holidays during his hostel life….

The warden then states, “You sleep too long lad. You know what time it is? It’s almost 10 and you have missed breakfast!”

10 am??!! Brilliant! First he wakes me up, then he advises me…. I briefly wondered how I had performed that perfect reverse roundhouse kick.

The alumnus looked at me and smiled. I wanted to beat him up then and there. ‘What should be my opening lines?’ I thought, “Which insult has the privilege of going first?”

And then, to my surprise, I shook his hand (keeping as far away from him. You see I hadn't even brushed then) and said, "Good morning sir. Glad to meet you. Please do come in and enjoy for a while what was once yours... and please don’t mind the mess."

Nice way and nice words to begin the week, I guess. 

P.S. I believe he came to the wrong room anyway. This room cannot be 20 years old!